As part of their ongoing “Safety Net” series, which examines the functionality of what passes for social welfare in the United States during the current recession, The New York Times profiled several Floridians with little to  no cash income and rely exclusively on food stamps to survive.  Buried in the article was this little tidbit:

“[Kevin Zirulo and Diane Marshall] said they dropped out of community college and diverted student aid to household expenses. They received $150 from the Nielsen Company, which monitors their television.”

Thanks to the Welfare Reform Act of 1996 (the full title is the “Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act of 1996″ an insulting title for a welfare bill if there ever was one), there is very little of what amounts to social cash welfare in the United States.  In fact, the same NYT article reports that while the food stamp roles have skyrocketed, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (the main cash welfare program) has barely changed since the onset of the “Great Recession.”

Enter the Nielsen Company, which evidentially pays its Nielsen Families $150 a month for their trouble.  Does this amount to some kind of private welfare?  Perhaps we are past the heyday of the privatization of government services (jails, roads, airports, hospitals) or maybe we are at the dawn of a new era (Healthcare reform of 2010)?  If so, what other kinds of welfare could the private sector offer?  For instance, maybe Walmart’s artificially low prices are already a form of back-door, private assistance?

Since I remain unemployed (now six months!) after earning a graduate degree, I am not eligible to receive unemployment insurance (which is not really welfare anyway; it is largely paid for by employers), nor do I qualify for Medicaid (not having a child or being pregnant severely hurts your chances), and I don’t even think I can get food stamps (too much money in my savings account), perhaps privatized welfare is for me. Coincidentally, Nielsen sent us a preliminary demographic survey in the mail the other day, promising that perhaps we too might represent tens of thousands of our demographic doppelgangers with our viewing choices.